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Coffee Break Chuckles
05-08-2011, 06:48 AM
Post: #11
RE: Coffee Break Chuckles
Hello world!

I am passing this on from someone because it definitely worked for me yesterday and we could all use more calm in our lives. Apparently a doctor on the Radio said the way to achieve inner peace was to finish all the things you have started.
So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and before leaving for work this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of chadonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pocket of pranglies, th mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scritpins, the res of tha chesecak and a bax of choclits.
Yu haf ni bludy idr how bludy gud i fele rite now
Trific Blush

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05-09-2011, 03:35 PM (This post was last modified: 05-09-2011 04:27 PM by bizitalk.)
Post: #12
RE: Coffee Break Chuckles
Hello world!

Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
Witness: "Four times." Huh


So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov and there was a check
tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the saltHuh

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05-10-2011, 12:29 PM
Post: #13
RE: Coffee Break Chuckles
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Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It’s in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna fuck around?"

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05-10-2011, 03:15 PM
Post: #14
RE: Coffee Break Chuckles
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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.Confused

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05-11-2011, 05:33 PM (This post was last modified: 05-11-2011 05:35 PM by bizitalk.)
Post: #15
RE: Coffee Break Chuckles
Hello world!

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?Huh
When I'm feeling down I like to whistle. It makes the neighbour's dog, who's always barking, run to the end of his chain and gag himself.Big Grin

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05-13-2011, 10:29 AM
Post: #16
RE: Coffee Break Chuckles
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A guy asks a lawyer what his fee is. "I charge $50 for three questions," the lawyer says. "That’s awfully steep, isn’t it?" the guy asks. "Yes," the lawyer replies, "Now what’s your final question?"

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05-13-2011, 10:39 AM
Post: #17
RE: Coffee Break Chuckles
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Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?Undecided

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05-17-2011, 02:44 PM
Post: #18
RE: Coffee Break Chuckles
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At a White House party, a woman approached Calvin Coolidge, famed for his silence, and said "Mr. President, I made a bet I can get more than two words out of you." He replied: "You lose.":D

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05-17-2011, 02:49 PM
Post: #19
RE: Coffee Break Chuckles
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We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.Confused

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05-17-2011, 03:00 PM
Post: #20
RE: Coffee Break Chuckles
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I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

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